Probably the last visit to Dr C

I woke up today feeling so much better, as if it's a totally new me. The heartburn was still there, making my every sleeping position hurt save for the only position where I face up. At least the nausea had subsided! I proceeded to have my usual breakfast (banana + oatmeal + flax seed smoothie) and ambled along to Dr C's clinic, with a group of old grannies walking past me at one point. How embarrassing.

Dr C was really glad to see me better and obviously being in good spirits put everyone at ease. She gave me an external ultrasound as it's probably too painful to perform a vaginal ultrasound, remarked on how enlarged my ovaries are still, and that the fluid retention has gone down a great deal. This time I rememebered to ask her for a picture of my ovaries, which I will post tomorrow. Very cool.

She made sure I'm still drinking plenty of water ("1.5l of Pocari Sweat in one evening and my pee is shockingly clear, Dr C!") and advised me not to drink any coffee/tea. Exclamation marks must have popped out of my head because she quickly said it's not good for me and I said I only drink one cup of coffee a day, that's all! So one cup is ok but not more than that. She went into "mother-naggy" mode and said too much caffeine isn't good for you, etc etc, and while it was a little weird to have her "nag" at me, I thought it was quite charming.

Then came the good news. Out of the 55 eggs retrieved, 44 were mature (!!!) and 38 were fertilised. Wow. I almost fell off my chair. That just means M has a very very good chance of getting pregnant! Fantastic. Dr C was positively beaming too, so it was a very happy ending to my egg donation adventure. Of course I have to return six months later for one final blood test to make sure I am not HIV positive before the embroys can be implanted in M, but at this point, it's pretty much the end of the journey.

I told Dr C that I may be donating my eggs again but this time it will be in London. She said it will be a logistical nightmare, as expected, but I'm willing to give it a go if it means so much to someone else.

I may have OHSS

Ah, I think I'm finally getting it. The nausea, severe cramps (think bad period cramps x 1000), backache, heartburn, headache, bloated-ness (I feel like I'm 6 weeks pregnant) just got to me today. I decided that this is it and I want to know WHY I'm feeling this way. Turns out that I am displaying all classic symptoms of OHSS!

It's funny that I thought OHSS only happens when I'm getting the gonadotrophin injections. How silly of me.

I didn't really want to disturb Dr C on a Sunday but I felt it was a situation where I really needed help. I texted her and she called me promptly, saying I have to see her first thing tomorrow and I will have to monitor my pee. "Make sure it's not tea-coloured, ok?" - yes ma'am.

So, how 'bout that. Drama after the surgery. What do I know..

What is going on with my body?

I didn't think the recovery will take so long. I have been practically bed-ridden since the surgery and yet I am still getting awful cramps in the middle of the night, prompting me to trudge out of bed, find some cookies in the pantry and swallow a couple of nurofen. Three hours later - repeat

ARGH!!!

The rash on my lower arms are getting better but they are all rather blotchy now. It's itching like crazy and whenever I look at them (hard to miss, eh) I cringe. How am I going to go on my holiday in 5 days' time?! And it's a scuba-diving trip, no less. I can hardly stand upright, much less carrying a 15L air tank on my back.

I want to give up. Is it possible to put me in a coma and let my battered body go through all the recovery and then wake me up? I really can't stand the nausea, cramps, backache, dizziness, rash, itch anymore. Help.

Earth Hour in Hong Kong

It's Earth Hour in Hong Kong and Victoria Harbour is dark. Even IFC has switched off its lights. The usual smog covering Hong Kong is actually making it darker - what an irony!

Avelox is evil

Now I am beginning to understand why I felt like s*** yesterday and today. But let me go back to the start. Yesterday evening after dinner I took another 2 neurofen pills (400 mg iburofen) and another 2 more just before I went to bed at 1:30am. The pain was still coming and going, and the nausea was a constant throb at the base of my stomach - but I took it all in stride because it's supposed to get worse before the going gets better, no?

At 4:45am I woke up with severe cramps all over my abdomen and sides, a mild panic attack started setting in, the nausea is starting to rise right up to my back of the throat, and the worst was the back pain that came in spasms. I tried to sleep for a few more hours but it was all rather patchy sleep - I had horrible nightmares - and when I finally woke up at 10:30am I was covered in a horrible bumpy rash! Here's a picture of my lower arm covered in rash. It isn't terribly itchy but to see my thighs, chest, upper abdomen and lower arms covered with it is NOT a pretty sight.

I decided not to take the Avelox this morning and then proceeded to do a ton of research on it. Turns out that I am showing classic symptoms of drug allergy. Funny that Dr C never mentioned that it is such a powerful drug and one that should be taken with extreme caution. Reading through all the side effects that people had after taking Avelox, I know I am on the mild side of the scale but it still scared the jeepers out of me. I texted Dr C, describing to her my symptoms and she called me shortly after to say I should stop taking it (I wouldn't have taken it even if she had wanted me to!) and to take one dose of Zyrtec, an antihistamine to combat the rash.

I have always been very suspicious of drugs and I know my body is totally battered after the weeks of countless injections/drugs/antibiotics/anesthetic, and now this incident gave me another reason to be distrustful of pharmaceutical companies. They are just money-loving, profit-driven, heck-with-the-common-people-we-just-want-your-body-to-be-reliant-on-our-drugs kind of 'tude assholes. Well, not all of them, I'm sure. There must be one or two souls in this industry who genuinely care for the future of humankind and our well-being. But I digress - the point is, every drug should be explained in detail to the patient what it is, its potential side-effects, how it works, etc. We are entitled to that, at the very least. Avelox was given to me in those generic "ziplock"-type sachet with only the label stuck at the front saying "2 Avelox Tab 400MG / DAILY / TAKE ONE TABLET / .....swallowed whole, not chewed". No leaflet, no warning, no indication.

Some will say it's Dr C's fault but I will give her the benefit of the doubt. She was probably too swamped with work and patients on Thursday and as a result, forgot to talk me through this antibiotic. After all, she has been a star, really, always putting my health as first priority.

I guess I am bed-ridden for the rest of the day. No more 7s! :(

aftermath

I'm definitely not feeling on top of the world, physically-wise. My insides hurt a lot (have been hurting since yesterday after the procedure) and I have this weird-looking rash on my abdomen which can mean just about anything! And because I hurt so much, I have to walk really, really slowly. That is just plain frustrating, especially for someone who walks like the Road Runner (remember that vintage cartoon "Beep, beep" with the fast bird and coyote?). It is rather disconcerting to be on the road and have the elderly, complete with white hair and walking sticks, to be over-taking me. Ugh!!

I am still on a powerful course of antibiotic and because of all the drugs in my body for the past two weeks, I now want to keep my body as drug-free as possible so I tried not to take any painkillers. But the spasms and deep ache just got worse and worse so I took half a day off and slept on the couch for the entire afternoon. I popped some neurofen after lunch (tomato and green peppers soup from Cafe O - yum) for some quick pain relief. But no - the pressure was still there. It's as if I had gone through one of those intense netball trainings I had in the past, you know, those ten sets of fifty stomach crunches with 10 seconds break between each set. And after that the stomach aches like crazy. Every single movement, every laugh, every step, every time I move my feet, it HURTS. ouch. I can hardly stand up straight.

Dr C did say it will get better. I'm hoping it will, soon, because I want to catch the rugby 7s in town.

*

On another note, there is a lady (let's call her T) from England who has approached me to donate my eggs to her. She was the second person to ask after M, and at first I said I won't be donating my eggs again but her sincerity and her tenacity in looking for a Chinese donor just blew me away. Her daughter is adopted from China and T would really like her to have a another sibling with whom she can share a heritage with. I think it's amazing that she would look so far away just to have a Chinese donor. I salute that, and told her that because she is so earnest, I will consider her request once my procedure is over.

And now that it is over, I decided that I will do it for her. The biggest problem is the logistics - should I continue to use Dr C for the treatments and then fly to London for the retrieval or should I get everything done here and get T to be implanted with the embryos? So many questions, so many possibilities...

Fifty-five (quite golden) eggs

This morning I arrived at the clinic at 8:30am, half expecting the doctors and nurses to be there, all milling around. But there were only two nurses who asked me to fill up a form (when was your last meal, last drink, drug allergies, etc) and told me to wait. I read the papers, completed my Sudoku, and was told to empty my bowels.

At 9:00am, I was told to change into a blue gown and the anaesthetist started chatting with me - he is a lovely old gentleman from England - and gave me a poke on the back of my hand to inject the "magic juice" (that's what he said!), and then I'm ready. Dr C greeted me with a cheerful good morning and asked how I was. I wish I could tell her that I'm shaking hard in my boots as this is my first surgery ever. My childhood was a relatively tame one (the worst I got was a crushed little finger with the xray showing all the tiny bits of bones) so I never really know what to expect in an operating theatre. Anyway it was a matter of seconds when I fell asleep and when I woke up about three hours later, it was all done.

Dr C said she retrieved 55 eggs! Fifty-five!!! Damn. What am I, the super fertile golden goose? Obviously not all were mature but heck, 55 is still a lot. She gave me some pretty strong painkillers and I slept a bit more. When I next came to, I was asked to wait outside for my turn to see Dr C (she was seeing a patient then). When it was my turn and I started speaking to her, I felt so faint and I could feel all the blood draining from my head. A really strong nausea kicked in, I started losing all sensation in my body and I just felt like I wanted to die. It was horrible.. Dr C immediately grabbed me and made me lie on the bed. She ordered me not to move till I got enough rest. Talk about drama! And this was after the surgery.

The recipient of my eggs, M, had a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered to the clinic for me. It was such a sweet gesture. As I lay on the bed covered by a Buzzlightyear blanket with the flowers next to me, I never felt more at peace. I know somehow one of those fifty-five eggs will be golden.

Laying the golden eggs in less than 9 hours

Here we go! I wonder how many mature eggs there will be after the pick-up tomorrow morning?

Stay tuned, folks!

Poked for the last time

Last jab at 9:00am this morning. Yay!

My bloated ovaries are starting to make me feel as if I have water balloons implanted inside me. Ugh. Can't wait to get them eggs out.

Just two more days...

I was prodded for the last time yesteday. Well, the truly last one will be the surgey itself but I will be under, so it doesn't really count. I have twelve eggs on the right, eleven on the left. Not all of them were fully mature yet as each has to be bigger than 1.4cm to be considered so. I did some quick math in my head - if I have twelve on one side and if the average diameter is 1.2cm for each egg, it is almost like having a tennis ball inside me! That kind of explains why I feel pregnant.

The only complaint I have so far is the inability to sleep on my front. My breasts are sore, my ovaries are sore, so the only option is to sleep facing up. Not even on the sides :\

Anyway, when Dr C was measuring the follicles and I was staring at the black/white screen with wide-eyed fascination, I completely forgot to ask her for a picture of my full-blown follicles. dammit. I suppose I will have to donate my eggs again to get that snapshot! I have included a picture of some random woman's follicles for your viewing pleasure though. Don't they look like an x-ray slide of a cluster of bubbles? Just barmy.

*

I had two injections earlier today. First one was planned for 6:30pm - Decapeptyl 1ml - which I suspect is to prevent premature ovulation and Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). I got home only at 6:40pm and by the time I poked myself, it was 6:50pm. Oops. Dr C specifically said I have a window of 15 minutes for the injection. Funnily enough, she called me promptly at 8pm to say that the surgery will be postponed by half an hour so the delay was perfectly ok! Phew.

The second jab was planned for 9pm (was originally slated for 8:30pm). This is the really important one: Ovidrel 4500IU. It helps follicles mature and triggers the release of mature eggs from the ovaries. It has to be timed 36 hours exactly before the egg pick-up but my beagle was bothering me (howling non-stop) and by the time I poked myself, it was 3 minutes past 9pm. I hope Dr C can forgive this slight transgression!

So now my follicles are releasing the eggs, giving them the first "freedom" at making it in life. Literally. Mind-blowing awesomeness!!

Poked #7

My ovaries are starting to feel very bloated. It's an odd sensation, as if my period is coming but the fullness is felt at the sides instead of the middle. I have been feeling nauseous all day too which made my little venture to Causeway Bay an uncomfortable affair.

--
I came across this blog on egg donation (based in the U.S.) and interestingly enough, the blogger wrote "...in England, it is legal to donate eggs, but illegal to pay anyone for doing so. And, of course, no one ever donates eggs."

It's funny that she thinks this way because I am donating my eggs for free. Totally free, no strings attached. Really. In any case, it is illegal to pay anyone for their eggs in Hong Kong. I find it quite odd that a fellow egg donor like her wouldn't think that someone would be altruistic enough to donate eggs for free.

I suppose making egg donation a commercial venture is probably the best way to address the severe shortage of eggs in Hong Kong but on the flip side, I can also see many issues that can result in an exploitation of young, ignorant uninformed girls who are desperate for cash. In my (very humble) opinion, a more focused and nationalised approach will be best - the government should create more public awareness which will enable women to voluntarily go forward and donate eggs.

For me, I think the best reward is in truly helping another human being. That is, very simply, priceless.

Poked #6

I'm now poking myself with three different drugs in one single jab: Menopur + Gonal F + Cetrotide. Here's a little introduction to what the three different drugs do:

Menopur: stimulates the follicles and also helps the eggs mature and release.

Gonal-F: helps to develop more eggs in the ovaries; essentially it is a hormone identical to follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) produced by the pituitary gland

Cetrotide: helps control the body's hormonal responses which affect the development of eggs. It assists the delay of a hormonal event known as the "LH surge". If LH surge occurs too early in a cycle, the eggs will be released before they're expected and that's no good as we want the eggs to be released on the day of the surgery.


It all sound a little oxymoron-ish to me but at this point, I just want to stay as healthy as I can and get to the big day without any drama!

Side-effects of gonadotrophin injections

It will be my fourth jab later this evening but thankfully I have not experienced any serious side effects (so far!) as there is a teeny weeny chance that I may get Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome, which is defined as a serious complication marked by chest and abdominal fluid buildup and cystic enlargement of the ovaries that can cause permanent injury and even death. Sounds super scary, innit.
The only drama I'm getting from my body is a slight "fullness" around the abdomen. I like to think that my follicles are like little ant workers working really hard, producing more and more eggs by the hour.

Oh, and an update on the thread I posted on the maternity website: I have since received four more enquiries! These are real women who desperately want donated eggs; yet I cannot help them even if I wanted to because of some law in Hong Kong that prohibits more than three 'live births' from the same donor. I truly feel so sorry for them because their only other option is to wait for their turn on the donor list. One of them is desperate enough to ask if I would like the procedure done in Singapore. I will have to think hard about this one.

I wonder, if I encourage my friends to donate their eggs will they think me mad? It's certainly not the same as donating blood! Then again, it's just giving up a part of yourself, your cells, your genes; only this procedure is more tedious and potentially more dangerous.

We sure need a egg donation centre of sorts in Asia.

Prodded - Part II

So my period finally arrived on 14 March, Saturday. I called the clinic and made an appointment on Monday to see Dr C again. And again, she prodded me. I think I'm somewhat getting used to being a cow.

This is the day I start my daily gonadotrophin injections and it will go on for roughly 10 days. Essentially, gonadotrophin kick-starts my ovaries to make many, many eggs so when it is time for the surgery, they can harvest a maximum number of eggs (usually 20 or more). That also means I will be super fertile. It sounds so strange, doesn't it? Ho hum.

A very nice nurse taught me how to poke myself. I have to say, I'm not terrified of needles but of course I'm not a fan either (who is?). There's just something so sinister about a needle... but like the nurse said, if a grandma with diabetes can poke herself everyday, I surely can too.

Poke poke poke.

Waiting

Period still not here. Never have I been so keen to have it.

Prodded

I was literally poked, prodded and jabbed at. I had a full physical exam, blood test and transvaginal ultrasound. The latter was uncomfortable and painful, much worse than a PAP smear, but it was really cool to see my uterus on the small black and white fuzzy screen. Dr C said I have a heart-shaped uterus (???) and she pointed out my bladder, my ovaries, my bowel and other... things. I suppose this is the closest I will ever get to experiencing a baby ultrasound and to be really honest, it was an amazing feeling. I wondered how much more amazing it must be to see an offspring, heart beating, curled up in the womb... *pushes all maternal thoughts aside*

Now all I have to do is to wait for my period. Last period was on 11 February but my cycle is always in a mess - it can be one day late or it can be 2 weeks late :|

Crossing fingers, all the same.