It's not that I have been too lazy to update my blog but there's just nothing to report. It's quiet from T's end because they are still getting clarity on the egg donation process - am I able to do half the process in HK with Dr C and have the egg retreival in the UK? It seems like her doctor wants control of everything, which I can understand why, but for situations like mine certainly some degree of flexibility can be exercised?
On another note, it's a brilliant week in Hong Kong, weather-wise. What a rare day it is to wake up to sunshine and blue skies, cool weather (20 degrees celsius), a soft breeze.. and then my grin can only get wider when I see the weather forecast's prediciton of an entire week of "fine" days. I find it harder and harder to resist the temptation to leave the office cubicle and make a trip to Shek O for some surfing!
Wednesday 29 April 2009
Sunday 19 April 2009
other donor blogs and compensation for eggs
Thanks to @asianeggdonor, I have been devouring as many egg donor blogs as I could read in the last couple of hours. They are such an invaluable tool to help other egg donors start out on their wonderful journey.
One common theme that runs through most of the blogs is compensation. The donors in the U.S. are usually compensated (sometimes quite handsomely) for their time and effort to undergo this process. I have to insert a disclaimer here that I'm definitely not against monetary compensation in exchange for donating eggs but it is illegal for anyone in Hong Kong to sell their eggs/sperm so it is decidedly not an option for me. Of course it will be nice if I can get a bit of monetary compensation for the frequent visits to the clinic, the discomfort from the ultrasounds and injections and the risk of the surgery, but I know deep down it is all about giving something priceless to a couple who yearns to hold a little one in their arms.
I have touched on this issue before, and understandably, it can be a little weird for someone to spend so much time and effort to give up a part of herself without expecting anything in return. Like this (rather self-serving) blogger from the U.S. wrote:
"...surely one wouldn't expect (very many) egg donors to endure some-odd ten weeks of drugs, injections, specifically-timed doctor visits, egg retrieval under general anesthesia, and lost income during this period out of sheer altruism. While I could see doing such a thing for, say, one's own sister, I would kind of wonder about the mental health (or potential martyr complex?) of anyone who volunteered to do such a thing for a stranger -- what is it that this person really wants back? I think you might be getting some crazy-lady genes for your baby. How nice!"
I laughed out loud when I first read it, and I'm still laughing now. It just reminds me how pathetically human we all are - if it doesn't benefit me, why bother at all? But don't you forget, there are millions of people who put aside a part of their monthly paycheck and donate it to the tens of thousands of charities worldwide. A modest sum is automatically debited from my credit card every month and goes straight to two charities: WWF and World Vision. Every once in a while, I dig deeper and donate more to other charities like Save the Sharks. I do this without even thinking of what I will get in return for my altruism. It's not as if a tiger shark will personally swim up to me in my next dive trip and say 'thank you very much for the US$100 you donated, it certainly helped prevent 'em greedy fishermen from finning my wife's sexy dorsal fin', and then do a menacing pose for me to capture on my camera, although I have to admit if a shark did that, I would be SO thrilled. And similarly for the monthly donation to WWF and World Vision, I don't expect pandas to send me a thank you note written with bamboo stalks nor the 8 year-old Nepalese girl that I am "supporting" to give me intricately-made Thanka art pieces.
So is it that difficult to imagine someone who would give her eggs to a stranger for free? Instead of donating money, I'm donating my time and a part of myself. I reckon it's pretty much the same as going to the local dog shelter and volunteering to clean the kennels and walk the dogs every week. The only thing I get in return are the happy dogs greeting me with licks on my hands and the gratifying satisfaction that I have made a difference.
Just reading this entry from a fellow egg donor makes me want to donate my eggs again and again:
"Actually, the other day when I was in for my ultrasound and blood, another patient was in the adjoining room. She must have gotten bad news cause she wailed and sobbed for a good 10 minutes...so loudly that my heart broke for her. I think that's the sound a mother makes when she loses a child. I hope whoever she is, she is able to pick up the pieces and move on to try again. My heart goes out to her. For those that come to my blog to find out if it's the money that drives us--no. If you had been there that morning...you would know it couldn't be about the money. It's about stopping that cry. It's about tears of joy instead of sadness and loss..."
That's some eggs for thought to get you through Monday..
One common theme that runs through most of the blogs is compensation. The donors in the U.S. are usually compensated (sometimes quite handsomely) for their time and effort to undergo this process. I have to insert a disclaimer here that I'm definitely not against monetary compensation in exchange for donating eggs but it is illegal for anyone in Hong Kong to sell their eggs/sperm so it is decidedly not an option for me. Of course it will be nice if I can get a bit of monetary compensation for the frequent visits to the clinic, the discomfort from the ultrasounds and injections and the risk of the surgery, but I know deep down it is all about giving something priceless to a couple who yearns to hold a little one in their arms.
I have touched on this issue before, and understandably, it can be a little weird for someone to spend so much time and effort to give up a part of herself without expecting anything in return. Like this (rather self-serving) blogger from the U.S. wrote:
"...surely one wouldn't expect (very many) egg donors to endure some-odd ten weeks of drugs, injections, specifically-timed doctor visits, egg retrieval under general anesthesia, and lost income during this period out of sheer altruism. While I could see doing such a thing for, say, one's own sister, I would kind of wonder about the mental health (or potential martyr complex?) of anyone who volunteered to do such a thing for a stranger -- what is it that this person really wants back? I think you might be getting some crazy-lady genes for your baby. How nice!"
I laughed out loud when I first read it, and I'm still laughing now. It just reminds me how pathetically human we all are - if it doesn't benefit me, why bother at all? But don't you forget, there are millions of people who put aside a part of their monthly paycheck and donate it to the tens of thousands of charities worldwide. A modest sum is automatically debited from my credit card every month and goes straight to two charities: WWF and World Vision. Every once in a while, I dig deeper and donate more to other charities like Save the Sharks. I do this without even thinking of what I will get in return for my altruism. It's not as if a tiger shark will personally swim up to me in my next dive trip and say 'thank you very much for the US$100 you donated, it certainly helped prevent 'em greedy fishermen from finning my wife's sexy dorsal fin', and then do a menacing pose for me to capture on my camera, although I have to admit if a shark did that, I would be SO thrilled. And similarly for the monthly donation to WWF and World Vision, I don't expect pandas to send me a thank you note written with bamboo stalks nor the 8 year-old Nepalese girl that I am "supporting" to give me intricately-made Thanka art pieces.
So is it that difficult to imagine someone who would give her eggs to a stranger for free? Instead of donating money, I'm donating my time and a part of myself. I reckon it's pretty much the same as going to the local dog shelter and volunteering to clean the kennels and walk the dogs every week. The only thing I get in return are the happy dogs greeting me with licks on my hands and the gratifying satisfaction that I have made a difference.
Just reading this entry from a fellow egg donor makes me want to donate my eggs again and again:
"Actually, the other day when I was in for my ultrasound and blood, another patient was in the adjoining room. She must have gotten bad news cause she wailed and sobbed for a good 10 minutes...so loudly that my heart broke for her. I think that's the sound a mother makes when she loses a child. I hope whoever she is, she is able to pick up the pieces and move on to try again. My heart goes out to her. For those that come to my blog to find out if it's the money that drives us--no. If you had been there that morning...you would know it couldn't be about the money. It's about stopping that cry. It's about tears of joy instead of sadness and loss..."
That's some eggs for thought to get you through Monday..
more logistical hurdles to clear
I certainly didn't expect the second donation to be this laborious to manage. First of all, because T is based in London I have to set up a phone call for both Dr C and her to speak. They managed to connect on Thursday evening and discussed the options for the procedure such as doing the entire treatment in Hong Kong or in the UK, or splitting it (injections/ultrasounds done in HK and egg retrieval done in the UK).
To complicate things, there is a law in Hong Kong which states that only three "live birth events" are allowed from one donor. A "live birth event" is defined as an event of birth in Hong Kong of one or more than one live child from a single pregnancy (so twins and multiples are still considered as one live birth). But according to Dr C, if the embryo transfer is done in Hong Kong it will be considered a "live birth event" regardless of where the baby is eventually born! So if T chooses to do the embryo transfer in Hong Kong, it will add to the number of "live birth events" that is allowed for my donated eggs. I suppose the implications of this isn't of any significant importance - yet. It will only affect my decision to donate for the third time but it's not looking likely at the moment, just because I want my body to have a break from the drugs.
Now, if the transfer happens in the UK I will be required by UK IVF law to have an assessment which means I will have to take a flight to London. It's not a biggie for me especially since I truly enjoy being in England but I doubt I have many leave days left this year to be off from work.
T managed to speak to the egg donation specialist at her clinic yesterday and established that to send the embryos from Hong Kong to the UK will not be the best idea when the alternative is a live transfer in either country. Also, T has certain issues that need to be addressed, e.g. she has high level of cytokines that make her womb hostile to embryos so she needs to be treated before the start of the IVF treatment.
Phew! That's the whole lot to digest for now. I'm just taking this one step at a time and besides, it's really up to T to decide what she wants - whether to do the transfer in Hong Kong or the UK. This is a critical decision as it will mean either one of us will have to spend a considerable time away from home. Like I said, I am definitely not closed to going to London (I was very prepared for it anyway!) but it may get difficult if I have to spend more than a week there.
I have updated on Twitter earlier that T declined to share the donated eggs with H. It was a difficult decision but one that I fully understood - with all these complex issues to clear, there really is no need for another hurdle to be thrown into the mix. T mentioned that Dr C will try to retrieve only 10-15 eggs this time which means there will only be a handful (if at all) which make it to the blastocyst stage. I was actually quite surprised as I thought 20+ eggs is a more decent number; after all, I really don't want to go through all the injections and proddings and blood tests to have no blastocyst at the end!
It has been pissing down with rain in Hong Kong all of Saturday and while it's all pretty glorious to me (I just love the shades of grey in this city), I think it's going to be an awful day for H to realize that she's back to square one with her search for donated eggs. If only there is a way to remove half of all my available eggs in my body all at once and give it to anyone who wants it.
To complicate things, there is a law in Hong Kong which states that only three "live birth events" are allowed from one donor. A "live birth event" is defined as an event of birth in Hong Kong of one or more than one live child from a single pregnancy (so twins and multiples are still considered as one live birth). But according to Dr C, if the embryo transfer is done in Hong Kong it will be considered a "live birth event" regardless of where the baby is eventually born! So if T chooses to do the embryo transfer in Hong Kong, it will add to the number of "live birth events" that is allowed for my donated eggs. I suppose the implications of this isn't of any significant importance - yet. It will only affect my decision to donate for the third time but it's not looking likely at the moment, just because I want my body to have a break from the drugs.
Now, if the transfer happens in the UK I will be required by UK IVF law to have an assessment which means I will have to take a flight to London. It's not a biggie for me especially since I truly enjoy being in England but I doubt I have many leave days left this year to be off from work.
T managed to speak to the egg donation specialist at her clinic yesterday and established that to send the embryos from Hong Kong to the UK will not be the best idea when the alternative is a live transfer in either country. Also, T has certain issues that need to be addressed, e.g. she has high level of cytokines that make her womb hostile to embryos so she needs to be treated before the start of the IVF treatment.
Phew! That's the whole lot to digest for now. I'm just taking this one step at a time and besides, it's really up to T to decide what she wants - whether to do the transfer in Hong Kong or the UK. This is a critical decision as it will mean either one of us will have to spend a considerable time away from home. Like I said, I am definitely not closed to going to London (I was very prepared for it anyway!) but it may get difficult if I have to spend more than a week there.
I have updated on Twitter earlier that T declined to share the donated eggs with H. It was a difficult decision but one that I fully understood - with all these complex issues to clear, there really is no need for another hurdle to be thrown into the mix. T mentioned that Dr C will try to retrieve only 10-15 eggs this time which means there will only be a handful (if at all) which make it to the blastocyst stage. I was actually quite surprised as I thought 20+ eggs is a more decent number; after all, I really don't want to go through all the injections and proddings and blood tests to have no blastocyst at the end!
It has been pissing down with rain in Hong Kong all of Saturday and while it's all pretty glorious to me (I just love the shades of grey in this city), I think it's going to be an awful day for H to realize that she's back to square one with her search for donated eggs. If only there is a way to remove half of all my available eggs in my body all at once and give it to anyone who wants it.
Friday 17 April 2009
officially a tweeter
I just have to jump on the twitter bandwagon. With the force of social media rising so rapidly, it'll be hard to ignore the strength of the up-and-coming twitter. Forget Facebook, people. It's twitter (for now). Add me @realgoldengoose
Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) made a bet with CNN (@CNNbrk) a few days ago, challenging the giant news corporation that he will get 1 million followers before CNN does. He faced a mountainous task because he had 842,000 followers while CNN had 921,000 on Monday. Since then, the numbers have gone up up up till just mere minutes ago, Kutcher crossed the line and hit the magical one million mark.
Both sides promised to donate 10,000 mosquito nets to help combat Malaria. Initially Kutcher was simply going to punk CNN founder Ted Turner with the classic "ding, dong, ditch" prank if he wins. I'm personally glad he turned this new elevated platform to serve a good cause. Kutcher also offered his one millionth follower the popular game Guitar Hero (super addictive, I'd say) and this prompted Electronic Arts to jump into the contest and offer the lucky follower a copy of every game it makes in 2009 AND provide him/her a role in the new Sims 3 game. Talk about being immortalized in a videogame!! Ripper.
What does this all mean, anyway? Like Earth Hour, it may seem pointless and almost counter-productive. But by throwing down the gauntlet, Kutcher has showed the world that we, the people, are firmly in control of the Internet. This is the age where we don't need censorship and where we are able to seek information for ourselves, and more often than not, create them. Governments and corporate giants will seek to cover up their hot messes but the truth will always surface. The shift in how people discover, read and share news, information and content has already started - and today Kutcher has used this to raise awareness for a deadly disease and help combat it. Bravo!
Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) made a bet with CNN (@CNNbrk) a few days ago, challenging the giant news corporation that he will get 1 million followers before CNN does. He faced a mountainous task because he had 842,000 followers while CNN had 921,000 on Monday. Since then, the numbers have gone up up up till just mere minutes ago, Kutcher crossed the line and hit the magical one million mark.
Both sides promised to donate 10,000 mosquito nets to help combat Malaria. Initially Kutcher was simply going to punk CNN founder Ted Turner with the classic "ding, dong, ditch" prank if he wins. I'm personally glad he turned this new elevated platform to serve a good cause. Kutcher also offered his one millionth follower the popular game Guitar Hero (super addictive, I'd say) and this prompted Electronic Arts to jump into the contest and offer the lucky follower a copy of every game it makes in 2009 AND provide him/her a role in the new Sims 3 game. Talk about being immortalized in a videogame!! Ripper.
What does this all mean, anyway? Like Earth Hour, it may seem pointless and almost counter-productive. But by throwing down the gauntlet, Kutcher has showed the world that we, the people, are firmly in control of the Internet. This is the age where we don't need censorship and where we are able to seek information for ourselves, and more often than not, create them. Governments and corporate giants will seek to cover up their hot messes but the truth will always surface. The shift in how people discover, read and share news, information and content has already started - and today Kutcher has used this to raise awareness for a deadly disease and help combat it. Bravo!
Thursday 16 April 2009
an eff of the ineffable
Wow - what can I say? I'm sure by now most people know who Susan Boyle is. If you don't, please, I implore you, watch this.
If there is only one YouTube video you watch in your lifetime, it has to be this, really!
I was so inspired I actually cried, and I have since watched it another 11 times (and counting...)
Like what Dr. Robert Canfield, a fellow blogger, wrote:
Every once in a while [a] great cultural moment happens. Iconic displays of the human imagination seem always to be unpredictable. But when they happen they reveal something about ourselves to ourselves...
Such a moment has just happened again, only this time it is a little different. A few days ago a 47 year old mentally disabled woman appeared on a talent show in Britain. Someone described her as fumpy. She wore her best dress, something worn earlier to a nephew’s wedding. She had fixed her hair herself. And she came on stage to sing. The hosts and the audience were kind enough, but pervading the whole scenario was a palpable doubt, even condescension, about this woman. She was a pathetic figure, vulnerable. This was an aggressive audience, expressive; they were ready to drive a performer off the stage. The hosts, the talent judges, were clearly dubious. One of the judges asked this woman her name and where she was from. She was Susan Boyle from a small town -- well, a collection of villages, she said. Then he asked what her ambition was. She wanted to be singer. Who would she like to be like?, he asked. Like Elaine Paige. It was easy to regard this woman as tragically unaware of her own limitations, with aspirations that surpassed her ability. And she was now on stage, on TV. Before a huge audience. Here was a disaster in the making. This would be difficult to watch. [all emphasis mine]
The YouTube video was uploaded on 11 April and by the time I watched it (two hours ago), it has been viewed more than 12 million times. Astonishingly, it is watched again and again by the same people - just like I did.
Dr Canfield surmised it most succinctly (yes, only 312 words!) when he wrote:
As I mentioned yesterday, attempts to formulate why and how Susan Boyle's performance captures the imagination will continue. The question reaches fundamental issues of our understanding of ourselves, our experience as human beings. What makes anthropology fun and deeply rewarding is the sense that we are in some sense probing the essential qualities of humanity -- whatever that is, whatever we mean by it. So the struggle of so many to explain why they cry, why they keep coming back to the same event, to watch the same performance, over and over again, displays the sense of mystery deeply embedded within us. These special bursts of public discussion about such a person, such an event, an icon created in a single episode, reveal what resides within us: a continuous rumination over who we are; we are ever seeking to grasp ourselves. What is this peculiar creature, the human being? Creative, inventive, generous, and also cruel, intolerant, self-serving, bitter. All this I can only surmise -- for knowing no one else I have to extrapolate from my own private world. I presume that everyone else like me carries on this internal struggle to understand, manipulating the tools of imagining that are available, the kinds of things we always use to think with: words, gestures, objects. The anthropological task, I take it, is to monitor whatever extrinsic evidences of that internal calque we can find in others. These overt forms are the devices through which the anthropologist gains access to personal mysteries, private experiences -- elements of the human condition that are usually inaccessible. But when, as in the reactions to Susan Boyle, intense personal feelings burst forth in tears that astonish, we discover dimensions of the human moral sensibility that most of us are unprepared to find in ourselves. That makes Susan Boyle a special event as well as a special human being.
*
My take on this? I was reminded of this passage by Salman Rushdie which I scribbled in my Moleskin back in September 2002:
Five mysteries hold the keys to the unseen: the act of love, and the birth of a baby, and the contemplation of great art, and being in the presence of death or disaster, and hearing the human voice lifted in a song. These are the occasions when the bolts of the universe fly open and we are given a glimpse of what is hidden: an eff of the ineffable. Glory burts upon us in such hours: the dark glory of earthquake, the slippery wonder of new life, the radiance of Vina's singing."
- Salman Rushdie, in The Ground Beneath Her Feet
Watching Susan Boyle sing I Dreamed a Dream has unlocked three out of the five mysteries - the act of love, the contemplation of great art, and of course, hearing the human voice lifted in a song.
Now, I haven't witnessed the birth of a baby - yet - but that desire is partially quenched by the donation of my eggs. It is but a very simple act of giving, selflessly, without prejudice, no judgements, no buts. And I wonder, if such an act of giving has enabled me to have a glimpse of the essential qualities of humanity, how much more mind-blowing it must be for me to witness the birth of an infant? How much more will I be moved, even after watching the unassuming Susan Boyle sing Fantine's song?
If there is only one YouTube video you watch in your lifetime, it has to be this, really!
I was so inspired I actually cried, and I have since watched it another 11 times (and counting...)
Like what Dr. Robert Canfield, a fellow blogger, wrote:
Every once in a while [a] great cultural moment happens. Iconic displays of the human imagination seem always to be unpredictable. But when they happen they reveal something about ourselves to ourselves...
Such a moment has just happened again, only this time it is a little different. A few days ago a 47 year old mentally disabled woman appeared on a talent show in Britain. Someone described her as fumpy. She wore her best dress, something worn earlier to a nephew’s wedding. She had fixed her hair herself. And she came on stage to sing. The hosts and the audience were kind enough, but pervading the whole scenario was a palpable doubt, even condescension, about this woman. She was a pathetic figure, vulnerable. This was an aggressive audience, expressive; they were ready to drive a performer off the stage. The hosts, the talent judges, were clearly dubious. One of the judges asked this woman her name and where she was from. She was Susan Boyle from a small town -- well, a collection of villages, she said. Then he asked what her ambition was. She wanted to be singer. Who would she like to be like?, he asked. Like Elaine Paige. It was easy to regard this woman as tragically unaware of her own limitations, with aspirations that surpassed her ability. And she was now on stage, on TV. Before a huge audience. Here was a disaster in the making. This would be difficult to watch. [all emphasis mine]
The YouTube video was uploaded on 11 April and by the time I watched it (two hours ago), it has been viewed more than 12 million times. Astonishingly, it is watched again and again by the same people - just like I did.
Dr Canfield surmised it most succinctly (yes, only 312 words!) when he wrote:
As I mentioned yesterday, attempts to formulate why and how Susan Boyle's performance captures the imagination will continue. The question reaches fundamental issues of our understanding of ourselves, our experience as human beings. What makes anthropology fun and deeply rewarding is the sense that we are in some sense probing the essential qualities of humanity -- whatever that is, whatever we mean by it. So the struggle of so many to explain why they cry, why they keep coming back to the same event, to watch the same performance, over and over again, displays the sense of mystery deeply embedded within us. These special bursts of public discussion about such a person, such an event, an icon created in a single episode, reveal what resides within us: a continuous rumination over who we are; we are ever seeking to grasp ourselves. What is this peculiar creature, the human being? Creative, inventive, generous, and also cruel, intolerant, self-serving, bitter. All this I can only surmise -- for knowing no one else I have to extrapolate from my own private world. I presume that everyone else like me carries on this internal struggle to understand, manipulating the tools of imagining that are available, the kinds of things we always use to think with: words, gestures, objects. The anthropological task, I take it, is to monitor whatever extrinsic evidences of that internal calque we can find in others. These overt forms are the devices through which the anthropologist gains access to personal mysteries, private experiences -- elements of the human condition that are usually inaccessible. But when, as in the reactions to Susan Boyle, intense personal feelings burst forth in tears that astonish, we discover dimensions of the human moral sensibility that most of us are unprepared to find in ourselves. That makes Susan Boyle a special event as well as a special human being.
*
My take on this? I was reminded of this passage by Salman Rushdie which I scribbled in my Moleskin back in September 2002:
Five mysteries hold the keys to the unseen: the act of love, and the birth of a baby, and the contemplation of great art, and being in the presence of death or disaster, and hearing the human voice lifted in a song. These are the occasions when the bolts of the universe fly open and we are given a glimpse of what is hidden: an eff of the ineffable. Glory burts upon us in such hours: the dark glory of earthquake, the slippery wonder of new life, the radiance of Vina's singing."
- Salman Rushdie, in The Ground Beneath Her Feet
Watching Susan Boyle sing I Dreamed a Dream has unlocked three out of the five mysteries - the act of love, the contemplation of great art, and of course, hearing the human voice lifted in a song.
Now, I haven't witnessed the birth of a baby - yet - but that desire is partially quenched by the donation of my eggs. It is but a very simple act of giving, selflessly, without prejudice, no judgements, no buts. And I wonder, if such an act of giving has enabled me to have a glimpse of the essential qualities of humanity, how much more mind-blowing it must be for me to witness the birth of an infant? How much more will I be moved, even after watching the unassuming Susan Boyle sing Fantine's song?
Famous Hong Kong actress pregnant at 43
The usual morning ritual - Nespresso coffee, waiting for Outlook to load all the fresh emails, a quick flick through the Standard before tackling the Sudoku when my eye caught this little blurb: Mum on soon becoming a dad
Curious English aside, what surprised me was that Carina Lau (wife of Hong Kong's superstar Tony Leung, seen in films like Lust, Caution and Infernal Affairs) is pregnant at 43 years old, thanks to the well-known gynecologist-obstetrician Clement Ho who spearheads the clinic that I go to.
While I am aware that recent societal pressures have now made couples (who can conceive naturally) decide to get pregnant and bear children much later in life, I don't fully agree with this trend. It bothers me because I know there are people who are not able to conceive on their own and when they see a fertility specialist, they face a long waiting list for the first visit to the doctor, expensive consultation fees (no doubt driven up by affluent couples who waited too long to have kids and realized that at 45 they have no other option other than to see an obgyn doctor), and the excruciating postponement to receive donated eggs. It just doesn't seem fair to them, yes?
So the moral of the story is, if you can get preggers when you are 28, do it now! Don't clog the system and deprive the couples who truly need medical assistance to have a child.
Carina Lau and Tony Leung - congratulations to the both of you but I certainly hope this wouldn't encourage more people to have children later in life and expect doctors to perform miracles.
Curious English aside, what surprised me was that Carina Lau (wife of Hong Kong's superstar Tony Leung, seen in films like Lust, Caution and Infernal Affairs) is pregnant at 43 years old, thanks to the well-known gynecologist-obstetrician Clement Ho who spearheads the clinic that I go to.
While I am aware that recent societal pressures have now made couples (who can conceive naturally) decide to get pregnant and bear children much later in life, I don't fully agree with this trend. It bothers me because I know there are people who are not able to conceive on their own and when they see a fertility specialist, they face a long waiting list for the first visit to the doctor, expensive consultation fees (no doubt driven up by affluent couples who waited too long to have kids and realized that at 45 they have no other option other than to see an obgyn doctor), and the excruciating postponement to receive donated eggs. It just doesn't seem fair to them, yes?
So the moral of the story is, if you can get preggers when you are 28, do it now! Don't clog the system and deprive the couples who truly need medical assistance to have a child.
Carina Lau and Tony Leung - congratulations to the both of you but I certainly hope this wouldn't encourage more people to have children later in life and expect doctors to perform miracles.
Tuesday 14 April 2009
bubble corals = enlarged follicles = easter eggs
Oh it was such a fabulous, fantastic, exhilarating holiday. Once I stepped on the plane, I felt as if I had a new body: no more heartburn, no more cramps, and as cliche as it may sound, there was also a light skip in my step. I was still feeling quite bloated since my period was due very soon but it was such a big relief to be almost 100% again. I sure needed it, seeing how many dives there were all planned for me.
So in 7 days, I did 23 dives and saw almost everything I wanted and expected to see - black-tip and white-tip reef sharks, giant chevron barracudas (and I was right in the middle of a swirling vortex of them!), schools of bumphead parrotfish, eagle ray, big-eye jack (I tried counting but lost count at 3602 - heehee), giant grouper, green and hawksbill turtles, frogfish, clown frogfish, cuttlefish, etc etc etc. At the end of the trip, some of my travelling buddies said they were pretty much "dived out" but I'm sure I can jump right back into the ocean and start all over again.
The only gripe I had about this trip was that my period came on Tuesday, right in the middle of my dive trip. It was a good 12 days after the egg retrieval and not 10 days as Dr C said. The awful cramps aside, I wasn't too concerned about the slight delay as I was actually hoping that it will come later which would have meant more days underwater without my period. But boy, when it came, it was a very, very heavy flow. It has now been a week since getting my period and I'm still spotting! I have to admit I was a little concerned as my period doesn't usually last more than 5 days but I know my body will need some time, maybe 1-3 menstrual cycles, before getting adjusted back to normalcy.
Anyway, whilst underwater I had the chance to come up close with some coral bubbles. They are common corals which I have seen since my very first dive nine years ago but because they've always been there, I never really noticed nor appreciated them. This time I definitely looked closer because they reminded me so much of my (then) enlarged follicles! Funny how nature replicate certain things in such vastly different organisms. Genetics sure is a fascinating field.
M has given me her blessings to go ahead and donate more eggs so now I'm waiting for T to return from her Easter holidays and speak to her doctor before deciding how to embark on the next egg donation journey. This time it will be different, since I will be doing it out of Hong Kong and most probably in London.
I have also been in contact with another lady (let's call her H) who is desperate for an egg donor to help her. She is already 43 and have been on all sorts of fertility treatment to get pregnant, but alas, to no avail. She asked me if T would like to share the donated eggs with her (and also split the cost of the treatment). Sigh! All I can do is ask T, but it is quite distressing for me to be in a position where I can give so much happiness or sorrow to someone else. If anything, my only desire in life is to see more joy in this forsaken world of ours but sometimes I can't help but feel it's a losing battle I'm waging...
Ah well. Back to the humdrum of life in the city. I was smiling when I got off the plane, filling my ears with true-blue Hong Kong Cantonese, but now it's only just one day later and already I can't wait to be back into the deep blue.
So in 7 days, I did 23 dives and saw almost everything I wanted and expected to see - black-tip and white-tip reef sharks, giant chevron barracudas (and I was right in the middle of a swirling vortex of them!), schools of bumphead parrotfish, eagle ray, big-eye jack (I tried counting but lost count at 3602 - heehee), giant grouper, green and hawksbill turtles, frogfish, clown frogfish, cuttlefish, etc etc etc. At the end of the trip, some of my travelling buddies said they were pretty much "dived out" but I'm sure I can jump right back into the ocean and start all over again.
The only gripe I had about this trip was that my period came on Tuesday, right in the middle of my dive trip. It was a good 12 days after the egg retrieval and not 10 days as Dr C said. The awful cramps aside, I wasn't too concerned about the slight delay as I was actually hoping that it will come later which would have meant more days underwater without my period. But boy, when it came, it was a very, very heavy flow. It has now been a week since getting my period and I'm still spotting! I have to admit I was a little concerned as my period doesn't usually last more than 5 days but I know my body will need some time, maybe 1-3 menstrual cycles, before getting adjusted back to normalcy.
Anyway, whilst underwater I had the chance to come up close with some coral bubbles. They are common corals which I have seen since my very first dive nine years ago but because they've always been there, I never really noticed nor appreciated them. This time I definitely looked closer because they reminded me so much of my (then) enlarged follicles! Funny how nature replicate certain things in such vastly different organisms. Genetics sure is a fascinating field.
M has given me her blessings to go ahead and donate more eggs so now I'm waiting for T to return from her Easter holidays and speak to her doctor before deciding how to embark on the next egg donation journey. This time it will be different, since I will be doing it out of Hong Kong and most probably in London.
I have also been in contact with another lady (let's call her H) who is desperate for an egg donor to help her. She is already 43 and have been on all sorts of fertility treatment to get pregnant, but alas, to no avail. She asked me if T would like to share the donated eggs with her (and also split the cost of the treatment). Sigh! All I can do is ask T, but it is quite distressing for me to be in a position where I can give so much happiness or sorrow to someone else. If anything, my only desire in life is to see more joy in this forsaken world of ours but sometimes I can't help but feel it's a losing battle I'm waging...
Ah well. Back to the humdrum of life in the city. I was smiling when I got off the plane, filling my ears with true-blue Hong Kong Cantonese, but now it's only just one day later and already I can't wait to be back into the deep blue.
Friday 3 April 2009
Off to the Big Blue
I'm done with the cramps!! I just want to be surrounded by plenty of fishes, sharks, turtles, bumphead parrotfish...
But I know it's only a matter of time before the cramps will return since my period is due in 2 days. My heartburn is definitely getting better. Dr C called earlier today to check up on me (sounds like I'm always up to no good!) and as usual, she asked me if I was feeling better, and advised me not to take any nurofen when my period comes. Don't want that to agitate the stomach acid level, no no, we don't. I only have one bottle of Gaviscon to last me for my entire diving holiday.
All in all, I think my virgin egg donation experience was wonderful save for the awful OHSS and heartburn at the end. Will I do it again? Yes, in a heartbeat. But I have promised M that I will discuss this with her before going ahead so the ball's pretty much in her court now.
Hello Mr Turtle!! Here I come :D
But I know it's only a matter of time before the cramps will return since my period is due in 2 days. My heartburn is definitely getting better. Dr C called earlier today to check up on me (sounds like I'm always up to no good!) and as usual, she asked me if I was feeling better, and advised me not to take any nurofen when my period comes. Don't want that to agitate the stomach acid level, no no, we don't. I only have one bottle of Gaviscon to last me for my entire diving holiday.
All in all, I think my virgin egg donation experience was wonderful save for the awful OHSS and heartburn at the end. Will I do it again? Yes, in a heartbeat. But I have promised M that I will discuss this with her before going ahead so the ball's pretty much in her court now.
Hello Mr Turtle!! Here I come :D
Thursday 2 April 2009
Getting there
It was still a sleepless night but at least it's getting better. There were moments when I could actually lie down flat and it was such a joy to sleep properly instead of being propped up with 5 pillows. The burning cramps started at 5am and reached a peak at 8:30am till I gulped some Gaviscon. It's Gaviscon to the rescue again!
M feels really bad that I am suffering and has told Dr C to "take good care" of me. Other than giving me a call everyday, I doubt Dr C can do much more. She has already given me the best treatment with Nexium and by offering to treat me when my GP wouldn't, it's more than I can ask for. It now up to me how badly I want myself to recover. Well, just thinking about doing the giant stride into the big blue and saying hello to the barracudas is enough!
Still can't manage to get a clear scan of the ultrasound of the ovaries. I have to work something out with my G10.
Ah, the good news - M was told that out of the 55 eggs retrieved, there are 32 embryos frozen. Out of that, 19 of them are "Day 2" embryos and 13 are "Day 5" embryos which is essentially the blastocyst. It is defined as "an embryo that has developed for five to seven days after fertilization and has developed 2 distinct cell types and a central cavity filled with fluid (blastocoel cavity). The cells in a blastocyst have just started to differentiate. The surface cells that surround the cavity (just under the outer shell) are called the trophectoderm and will later develop into the placenta. The more centrally located group of cells are called the inner cell mass and will become the fetus". (Source: Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago)
In English, it just means that with 13 blastocyst, M has a damn high chance of getting pregnant! There's quite nothing like some good news at the end of the long dark tunnel.
It's going to be a busy day today with a pedicure, sending the beagle off to his holiday resort and going to the dive shop to sort out my Ikelite housing and strobe.
M feels really bad that I am suffering and has told Dr C to "take good care" of me. Other than giving me a call everyday, I doubt Dr C can do much more. She has already given me the best treatment with Nexium and by offering to treat me when my GP wouldn't, it's more than I can ask for. It now up to me how badly I want myself to recover. Well, just thinking about doing the giant stride into the big blue and saying hello to the barracudas is enough!
Still can't manage to get a clear scan of the ultrasound of the ovaries. I have to work something out with my G10.
Ah, the good news - M was told that out of the 55 eggs retrieved, there are 32 embryos frozen. Out of that, 19 of them are "Day 2" embryos and 13 are "Day 5" embryos which is essentially the blastocyst. It is defined as "an embryo that has developed for five to seven days after fertilization and has developed 2 distinct cell types and a central cavity filled with fluid (blastocoel cavity). The cells in a blastocyst have just started to differentiate. The surface cells that surround the cavity (just under the outer shell) are called the trophectoderm and will later develop into the placenta. The more centrally located group of cells are called the inner cell mass and will become the fetus". (Source: Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago)
In English, it just means that with 13 blastocyst, M has a damn high chance of getting pregnant! There's quite nothing like some good news at the end of the long dark tunnel.
It's going to be a busy day today with a pedicure, sending the beagle off to his holiday resort and going to the dive shop to sort out my Ikelite housing and strobe.
Wednesday 1 April 2009
Definitely not the last visit... yet.
So, after my last post I developed the worst heartburn ever. The acid must have killed my esophagus and stomach lining as it just hurt so much whenever I tried to eat. The burning sensation was ceaseless and I couldn't even sleep lying down. I made a mountain of pillows on my bed and slept upright. It was agony.
That was Monday night. On Tuesday morning, I took an Antacid and forced myself to eat a banana but after a few bites, the most severe cramps took hold of my stomach. On a scale of 1 - 10, I'd say it's a 9, with 10 being a stake driven through my heart. It was that bad. I made an attempt to go to work but on my way walking to the office, I almost fainted from the sheer agony of it. Time to go to my GP, I thought. But I didn't get no sympathy from him. He pressed my tummy a couple of times, said I'm so bloated and it must be because of the complications from the egg retrieval, and essentially refused to treat me! He told me to go back to Dr C. I told him it's just heartburn as I had a check-up with Dr C the day before already and I was all clear. But no. This guy obviously was too frightened to do anything so he sent me to a gastroenterology specialist. I trugded to the clinic only to find that the specialist only works Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Bah!! I wanted to give up, right there and then.
But being sensible, like I usually am, I went to Watson's and got a bottle of Gaviscon to help with the heartburn. It obviously was a relief but I could still feel the acid churning away in my stomach, threatening to splash back up the esophagus and ruin all the delicate lining. I gave Dr C a call and she sort of reprimanded me for not going to her in the first instance. I told her I really didn't want to bother her anymore as this is just heartburn! She then said I should go in to see her immediately.
I got to the clinic at 6pm (what an ordeal getting there) and waited for about an hour for my turn. She asked me why the sudden turn of events, since I was quite ok on Monday. Anyway she did another ultrasound of the ovaries (still enlarged), took my blood pressure and listened to my stomach. Like I said, it's just heartburn but probably at the chronic stage where the acid has eroded the lining of the esophagus. She wanted to give me this drug called Nexium but they were out of stock and all the pharmacists in Central were closed. Bugger. My only option was to go to the hospital at Old Peak Road but the thought of going there and then back home was just too much, so I said I will get it first thing in the morning.
Now I wish I had gone as it was another sleepless night - all pain and agony and misery. It didn't help that the beagle was snoring a lot. Sigh. This morning I tried to take a bite off a banana but it felt as if my esophagus was lined with millions of tiny glass shreds, and the cramps started almost immmediately. I almost drank the entire bottle of Gaviscon! The Nexium arrived at 10am (through the very kind act of W) and after I took the purple pill, I tried to sleep (upright) again.
I'm now feeling better but my chest and abdomen are still pretty sore. I still have no idea how I am going to travel on Friday and dive on Sunday in this poor condition.
That was Monday night. On Tuesday morning, I took an Antacid and forced myself to eat a banana but after a few bites, the most severe cramps took hold of my stomach. On a scale of 1 - 10, I'd say it's a 9, with 10 being a stake driven through my heart. It was that bad. I made an attempt to go to work but on my way walking to the office, I almost fainted from the sheer agony of it. Time to go to my GP, I thought. But I didn't get no sympathy from him. He pressed my tummy a couple of times, said I'm so bloated and it must be because of the complications from the egg retrieval, and essentially refused to treat me! He told me to go back to Dr C. I told him it's just heartburn as I had a check-up with Dr C the day before already and I was all clear. But no. This guy obviously was too frightened to do anything so he sent me to a gastroenterology specialist. I trugded to the clinic only to find that the specialist only works Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Bah!! I wanted to give up, right there and then.
But being sensible, like I usually am, I went to Watson's and got a bottle of Gaviscon to help with the heartburn. It obviously was a relief but I could still feel the acid churning away in my stomach, threatening to splash back up the esophagus and ruin all the delicate lining. I gave Dr C a call and she sort of reprimanded me for not going to her in the first instance. I told her I really didn't want to bother her anymore as this is just heartburn! She then said I should go in to see her immediately.
I got to the clinic at 6pm (what an ordeal getting there) and waited for about an hour for my turn. She asked me why the sudden turn of events, since I was quite ok on Monday. Anyway she did another ultrasound of the ovaries (still enlarged), took my blood pressure and listened to my stomach. Like I said, it's just heartburn but probably at the chronic stage where the acid has eroded the lining of the esophagus. She wanted to give me this drug called Nexium but they were out of stock and all the pharmacists in Central were closed. Bugger. My only option was to go to the hospital at Old Peak Road but the thought of going there and then back home was just too much, so I said I will get it first thing in the morning.
Now I wish I had gone as it was another sleepless night - all pain and agony and misery. It didn't help that the beagle was snoring a lot. Sigh. This morning I tried to take a bite off a banana but it felt as if my esophagus was lined with millions of tiny glass shreds, and the cramps started almost immmediately. I almost drank the entire bottle of Gaviscon! The Nexium arrived at 10am (through the very kind act of W) and after I took the purple pill, I tried to sleep (upright) again.
I'm now feeling better but my chest and abdomen are still pretty sore. I still have no idea how I am going to travel on Friday and dive on Sunday in this poor condition.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
