other donor blogs and compensation for eggs

Thanks to @asianeggdonor, I have been devouring as many egg donor blogs as I could read in the last couple of hours. They are such an invaluable tool to help other egg donors start out on their wonderful journey.

One common theme that runs through most of the blogs is compensation. The donors in the U.S. are usually compensated (sometimes quite handsomely) for their time and effort to undergo this process. I have to insert a disclaimer here that I'm definitely not against monetary compensation in exchange for donating eggs but it is illegal for anyone in Hong Kong to sell their eggs/sperm so it is decidedly not an option for me. Of course it will be nice if I can get a bit of monetary compensation for the frequent visits to the clinic, the discomfort from the ultrasounds and injections and the risk of the surgery, but I know deep down it is all about giving something priceless to a couple who yearns to hold a little one in their arms.

I have touched on this issue before, and understandably, it can be a little weird for someone to spend so much time and effort to give up a part of herself without expecting anything in return. Like this (rather self-serving) blogger from the U.S. wrote:

"...surely one wouldn't expect (very many) egg donors to endure some-odd ten weeks of drugs, injections, specifically-timed doctor visits, egg retrieval under general anesthesia, and lost income during this period out of sheer altruism. While I could see doing such a thing for, say, one's own sister, I would kind of wonder about the mental health (or potential martyr complex?) of anyone who volunteered to do such a thing for a stranger -- what is it that this person really wants back? I think you might be getting some crazy-lady genes for your baby. How nice!"

I laughed out loud when I first read it, and I'm still laughing now. It just reminds me how pathetically human we all are - if it doesn't benefit me, why bother at all? But don't you forget, there are millions of people who put aside a part of their monthly paycheck and donate it to the tens of thousands of charities worldwide. A modest sum is automatically debited from my credit card every month and goes straight to two charities: WWF and World Vision. Every once in a while, I dig deeper and donate more to other charities like Save the Sharks. I do this without even thinking of what I will get in return for my altruism. It's not as if a tiger shark will personally swim up to me in my next dive trip and say 'thank you very much for the US$100 you donated, it certainly helped prevent 'em greedy fishermen from finning my wife's sexy dorsal fin', and then do a menacing pose for me to capture on my camera, although I have to admit if a shark did that, I would be SO thrilled. And similarly for the monthly donation to WWF and World Vision, I don't expect pandas to send me a thank you note written with bamboo stalks nor the 8 year-old Nepalese girl that I am "supporting" to give me intricately-made Thanka art pieces.

So is it that difficult to imagine someone who would give her eggs to a stranger for free? Instead of donating money, I'm donating my time and a part of myself. I reckon it's pretty much the same as going to the local dog shelter and volunteering to clean the kennels and walk the dogs every week. The only thing I get in return are the happy dogs greeting me with licks on my hands and the gratifying satisfaction that I have made a difference.

Just reading this entry from a fellow egg donor makes me want to donate my eggs again and again:

"Actually, the other day when I was in for my ultrasound and blood, another patient was in the adjoining room. She must have gotten bad news cause she wailed and sobbed for a good 10 minutes...so loudly that my heart broke for her. I think that's the sound a mother makes when she loses a child. I hope whoever she is, she is able to pick up the pieces and move on to try again. My heart goes out to her. For those that come to my blog to find out if it's the money that drives us--no. If you had been there that morning...you would know it couldn't be about the money. It's about stopping that cry. It's about tears of joy instead of sadness and loss..."

That's some eggs for thought to get you through Monday..