the journey of ups and downs

So I thought I would get the trigger on Tuesday and get the egg retrieval done on Friday. By noooooo that was not the case. I went back to the clinic on Tuesday afternoon and all I got was "wait, the blood test results aren't back yet". So I waited till 6pm and nurse V asked me how I was feeling. I said good, except for a bit of nausea earlier in the day and of course, bloatedness. I also had a teeny weeny bit of cramps but it could just be because of something I ate? She trotted off to find Dr T and then came back and said nope, no trigger. I was so frustrated I wanted to cry. Really. I begged her but she said Dr T would not let me trigger because Pregnyl (the trigger drug) may make me feel worse. I told her I only had VERY mild nausea, it could just be nothing! But Dr T refused. SIGH.

I got another jab of Cetrotide (nurse V mixed it up there and then) and went home, feeling awful and frustrated. I told myself I won't postpone the flight to Saturday as that means arriving back in HK only on Sunday evening and that's just way too late for me. I need to be home ASAP - I have been away too long.

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This morning I went back in for another blood test and another one at 1pm. I got quite worked up when I went back to the clinic just before the second blood test because another nurse whom I've never seen before took my case and said she can't say if I'm triggering tonight or not. I felt so mad I could feel the blood rising and I knew all that energy had to go somewhere somehow, but I'm not allowed to go for a run. How frustrating! While waiting for my turn for the blood test I paced around cursing at the incompetent system of the ARGC - of course not out loud, for the exempletives I used were most colourful. F***!

After walking from Oxford Circus to Piccadilly and having done almost all my Christmas shopping, I trudged back to the ARGC. Finally I saw nurse V and really, at that point I wouldn't have taken no for an answer. If Dr T wouldn't give me the trigger, I'd personally marched upstairs to his office and put a knife to his neck. Or break into a pharmacy and get the Pregynl. Or just fly back to Hong Kong. Heck about the eggs.

Nurse V then gave me the good news - I will trigger this evening at 7:15pm. T finished work just then and came to meet me and we went back home together, braving the awful downpour. Before I left, I gave Nurse V a goodbye hug. As frustrated I was with the ARGC, she has been great. I will miss her.

Pregnyl isn't an easy drug to mix. It's actually more difficult than Cetrotide because this time it's just two ampoules in the box. By the time we got home it was almost time and I poked myself at 7:19pm. Total of 7500 IU of Pregnyl. Once I got them in, T gave me a warm hug. She is just the nicest and sweetest person, really. All the support I received has been amazing and I truly truly want her to get pregnant and have lots of kids.

Tomorrow will be my day off so I will finally get the chance to sleep in and take it easy. Off to the Natural History Museum in the afternoon! Yay :) All I have to do now is to drink a LOT of water (one glass every hour). The end is near. Very near.

the beginning of another chapter

My period came yesterday morning. It was four days early which is suspiciously unusual as my period is almost always late. It explains the nausea I had been getting late at night which resulted in lousy sleep throughout the weekend. Anyway, now that I have my period I can finally start the monitoring cycle with Dr C for my egg donation procedure for T.

I called the clinic yesterday to make an appointment to see Dr C but she could only accommodate me this afternoon. Talk about being busy! If you're an aspiring medical student reading this blog, I'd advise you to go into Obstetrics and Gynecology and especially into fertility. Your services will always be in demand as more and more couples get married later and have kids later in life. And it's an immensely interesting field with all that eggs and sperm and creating life and saving lives...

So it's back to Dr C again today for the blood tests - FSH, LH, Oestradiol and Prolactin - and I will have to be taught how to use an ovulation detection kit on Day 10 of my cycle. Once I get a positive surge, I will be required to return to the clinic for another test.. but that's another story for another day.

Last blood test for M (first recipient of my donated eggs)

I went to the clinic for a final blood test (for HIV) around noon today - one last poke in the arm - and just like that, it's all done.

Good luck, M. I wish you the best of luck for you to get pregnant and hold a little one (or possibly more) in your arms.

Good luck, little eggs. I wish you the best of luck; I can tell you now that you sure need it because growing up is often painful and full of challenges. Then again, life is very special and one beautiful journey that you will be very privileged to have.

Probably the last visit to Dr C

I woke up today feeling so much better, as if it's a totally new me. The heartburn was still there, making my every sleeping position hurt save for the only position where I face up. At least the nausea had subsided! I proceeded to have my usual breakfast (banana + oatmeal + flax seed smoothie) and ambled along to Dr C's clinic, with a group of old grannies walking past me at one point. How embarrassing.

Dr C was really glad to see me better and obviously being in good spirits put everyone at ease. She gave me an external ultrasound as it's probably too painful to perform a vaginal ultrasound, remarked on how enlarged my ovaries are still, and that the fluid retention has gone down a great deal. This time I rememebered to ask her for a picture of my ovaries, which I will post tomorrow. Very cool.

She made sure I'm still drinking plenty of water ("1.5l of Pocari Sweat in one evening and my pee is shockingly clear, Dr C!") and advised me not to drink any coffee/tea. Exclamation marks must have popped out of my head because she quickly said it's not good for me and I said I only drink one cup of coffee a day, that's all! So one cup is ok but not more than that. She went into "mother-naggy" mode and said too much caffeine isn't good for you, etc etc, and while it was a little weird to have her "nag" at me, I thought it was quite charming.

Then came the good news. Out of the 55 eggs retrieved, 44 were mature (!!!) and 38 were fertilised. Wow. I almost fell off my chair. That just means M has a very very good chance of getting pregnant! Fantastic. Dr C was positively beaming too, so it was a very happy ending to my egg donation adventure. Of course I have to return six months later for one final blood test to make sure I am not HIV positive before the embroys can be implanted in M, but at this point, it's pretty much the end of the journey.

I told Dr C that I may be donating my eggs again but this time it will be in London. She said it will be a logistical nightmare, as expected, but I'm willing to give it a go if it means so much to someone else.

Prodded

I was literally poked, prodded and jabbed at. I had a full physical exam, blood test and transvaginal ultrasound. The latter was uncomfortable and painful, much worse than a PAP smear, but it was really cool to see my uterus on the small black and white fuzzy screen. Dr C said I have a heart-shaped uterus (???) and she pointed out my bladder, my ovaries, my bowel and other... things. I suppose this is the closest I will ever get to experiencing a baby ultrasound and to be really honest, it was an amazing feeling. I wondered how much more amazing it must be to see an offspring, heart beating, curled up in the womb... *pushes all maternal thoughts aside*

Now all I have to do is to wait for my period. Last period was on 11 February but my cycle is always in a mess - it can be one day late or it can be 2 weeks late :|

Crossing fingers, all the same.